


Cold Turkey

by kawaiibossAssSwagbitch420



Series: Tumblr prompts [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drug Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-25
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 23:08:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6349378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiibossAssSwagbitch420/pseuds/kawaiibossAssSwagbitch420
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One more time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Turkey

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluekupkakez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluekupkakez/gifts).



> Tumblr prompt
> 
> A little diddy based on "Lua" by Bright Eyes.

It’s their final farewell, but far from their first.

“Just one more night,” Uta had pleaded with Renji, eyes dull. His voice lilted across the kitchen table, sent a strange shiver down Renji’s back. He ached all over, _needed._ “Cold turkey never works, anyway." 

It was almost like Uta was begging. A deeper meaning beneath all the rubbish their life had become.

Renji clenched his fist, wanted to beat it against his skull if it made the throbbing ebb away. He exhaled roughly, almost a growl. Uta didn’t flinch like he should have.

His voice was husky when he finally looked up, watched the smoke billow from the tip of Uta’s cigarette. He’s thinner now than when they met, when they fell in love. Eyes hallow, dark, chapped lips and chipped nails. For a moment Renji wondered if he looks just as broken as Uta does.

"Just one more time,” Uta said. Renji heard the desperation in his voice. “Then we’ll stop.”

He’d scratched his face with large fingers, sighed deeply. “Okay.”

And that’s how they found themselves here. Uta with the waistband from his raincoat that they always used, tied just above the crook of his arm. Taps out a familiar tune to bring up his vein. The tune that haunts Renji, a Pavlovian response. He watches Uta’s eyes shut softly as he unties the band, hates himself for not even hesitating to take his turn.

“One more time,” Renji breathes. “Then we’re through.”

*

Time warps into bitter nothingness as Renji finds himself outside, rain sprinkling over his skin to meld with the sweat. He hears Uta giggling ahead of him, feels an itch in his arm from the injection.

He’s singing. Loud, vibrant voice banging and echoing against the walls surrounding them. Renji begs him to stop because he can’t fucking concentrate when Uta throws his voice. And Uta only laughs at him, delirious, and continues singing. 

“We gotta go,” Renji insists, grabbing the other by the arm and jerking him back. “We gotta go downtown.”

“Idiot,” Uta snickers. “We _are_ downtown!”

*

Uta slides into a party and Renji follows. He’s dazed, unaware of his surroundings. The only clear form in his visionary path is Uta, his long limbs and dark tattoos. Wrapping around tiny frames that might be humanoid and greeting them like old friends. Renji stays silent, lets his blood hurl through his veins and rides the rush one more time.

_One more time._

Uta’s suddenly in front of him, smiling. “Be right back, going to the bathroom.”

At that, Renji has a moment of lucidity. “No. One last time, remember?”

Uta rolls his eyes. “Just a bump, I swear.”

_“No.”_

Uta curls his lips at him and leaves anyway. Renji wants to throw up but can’t. He hasn’t eaten in days.

*

He’s suddenly being rocked back and forth by the train when he comes back to himself. Eyes wide, staring at his own reflection. Renji sighs. Sunken eyes, chapped lips. He almost doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him and it makes him sick.

But he recognizes Uta, sitting next to him. Lips latched to the top of a flask. He’d watched firsthand Uta’s regression into addiction, but he hardly noticed the signs until he searched them out.

“Ren,” Uta whispers, nudging the other’s arm with his flask. “Bourbon.”

He takes a swig, his heart hammering in his chest.

_Cold turkey never works, anyway._

How could Uta know that? They’ve never tried.

“Uta,” Renji begins. “You know that I love you.”

Uta snuggles in closer to Renji, sipping at the Bourbon like it were water. “I know.”

“I’m sorry about this mess.”

“It’s my fault.”

Renji doesn’t answer that. There’s no reason to argue.

“We’re quitting, right?” Renji asks. Grins when Uta hums and nods. “If we quit the shit, you know what we have to do?”

Uta pauses, averts his eyes from the gaze of reflection-Renji across from them. “Yeah, I guess.”

“We can’t keep doing this,” Renji’s voice is a sage rumble that terrifies Uta. “Not together. There’s nothing left between us, it keeps wilting. There are no more excuses, there’s no more reasoning.”

It causes Uta to pause, screw the lid of his flask shut and sit up straight. Staring at nothingness. He’d cry if he could find it in himself, but what’s left to cry over?

“Cold turkey,” Renji states. The train screeches against its breaks, and Renji stands slowly.

Uta does not stand up with him. He watches his feet, traces the pattern of the periwinkle carpet below them. “Yeah,” he breathes. The train comes to a stop, and Renji walks away, takes his warmth with him. “Cold turkey.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey kids don't do drugs mmkay?


End file.
